Oops!… I Used an Unconscious Bias Again
The never-ending fight against stereotypes
A friend told me recently that her sister was getting married. I told him ‘Congratulation to your sister and her future husband’.
I went to bed and fell asleep. In the middle of the night, I suddenly woke up and screamed: “WHAT IF HER SISTER HAD A WIFE?!”
Ok, maybe it was not in the middle of the night (and maybe I’ve watched too many movies). Nevertheless, I had just realised that I completely omitted the fact that his sister would be about to marry a woman or any person who does not identify with the gender binary.
This experience reminded me that even though I tried to pay attention to the biases I may have, they’re not disappearing quickly.
What is an unconscious bias?
According to Wikipedia, unconscious biases are ‘learned stereotypes that are automatic, seemingly associative, unintentional, deeply ingrained, universal, and able to influence behavior’.
My experience is a typical example: I assumed that his sister was heterosexual and about to be married to a cisgender man.
I assumed it because I am cisgender myself and most of the relationships around me are heterosexuals. Heterosexuality is also a norm…
